Little Eyes Are Watching: Why Self Confidence is SO Important

I told you guys a couple of weeks ago that I struggle with #selflove and that I’m slowly learning to accept all of me, the good the bad and the ugly. 

It’s no secret that I love taking pictures of my daughter. I think that’s pretty clear just by glancing at my Instagram page. Capturing life’s little moments with Scarlett is a something I truly enjoy. From playing in the park to terrorizing Tyson (our dog) or stealing snuggles from daddy – I love it all. 

But to be 100% honest with you all, if you look closely it’s very rare that I’m in a picture with her. There are a few reasons for this, but one of the main reasons is that I don’t always like how I look in pictures.

I struggle with adult acne.

I swear I have more acne now than I did as a teenager. It’s not for lack of having a “skin care routine” because I do. I wash my face twice a day (right now I am loving this Facial Cleanse for sensitive skin by Burt’s Bees), I drink plenty of water, and I do my best to watch the sweets (which are my weakness) and greasy foods. Most days you’ll find me barefaced when at home or with a little makeup on if I have to run an errand. But still no matter what I find myself struggling with it.

There are many factors that play into my acne struggle, but seeing a dermatologist to get it figured out is not in the cards for me right now. So I’m learning to accept it and embrace living with it. Because at the end of the day, I want pictures with my daughter. I want her to have memories of us together doing ALL of the things and be able to show her kids someday.

I also want her to know how important it is to love the skin you’re in. God made each and every one of us unique and beautiful in his own image. We all have our own battles scars (both seen and unseen) and Scarlett is no exception to that. Her battle scars from her time in NICU will be with her forever, and while we know what they stand for and why she has them. Not everyone does and not everyone will be understanding of them.

This world, and people can be cruel. Bullying is real thing. And just like ALL parents I never want someone to take her confidence away and make her feel less about herself because of them. No parents want that for their child.

So I lead by example.

While I might struggle to accept all of myself at times, I know she is watching me. She sees how I look at myself in the mirror. I am her first role model and I’m trying my hardest to be a good one. So I wear the two-piece swim suits. I wear the cute shirt from last year that fits a little too tight (but I just can’t bring myself to get rid of it just yet). I go bare faced in public and at home and in videos even though my acne makes me self-conscious, it’s real and it’s apart of me. I do it with all the confidence I can muster because at the end of the day, those little eyes are watching me and I want her to know that her mama is a fighter just like she is. Despite what others might think or say about me – I am beautiful, acne scars and all. And NO ONE is going to still my sunshine.

Thank you all so much for taking time to read and letting me be apart of your day. I hope that whatever you are struggling with you find the confidence to overcome it. Remember that you are loved and you are ENOUGH. You are blessed and beautiful & don’t let anyone tell you otherwise!

Love, Riaa


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